At exactly 2pm today, Honi Soit was alerted to the disappearance of the Bevy microwave that had only been installed last month.
The microwave, procured after a probing Honi Soit Exclusive investigation, was removed some time prior to 2pm – leaving the student body shocked and confused.
The photo below, which originally alerted us to the microwave’s disappearance, shows the glaring absence of the device.
Immediately suspecting the worst, Honi reached out to the USU to ascertain what exactly had happened to the treasured appliance.
“Never fear, your microwave was not stolen!” Jess Reed, USU Director of Commercial Operations, told Honi Soit.
“It has been redeployed to support the increased demand we’ve had at the food truck outside Fisher. It will be there during STUVAC and exams and will then return.”
While she does claim that they are “working on getting a replacement”, it seems very likely that the patrons of Courtyard will have to suffer the indignities of a time before Muffingate.
The microwave’s location has been verified though, thanks to Honi editor Alice Trenoweth-Creswell’s photographic investigation.
Using advanced visual comparison technology, you can see that the microwave installed last month in the Bevy (the photo on the left) is the same microwave that’s been photographed inside the Fisher Food Truck (the photo on the right): supporting the claims made by the USU.
With this news, the student body has surely sighed a breath of relief. While it’s understandable that the USU might redeploy microwaves to areas of increased demand, the real crime here is not the redeployment, but rather the lack of communication. To the man or woman on the street, anything might have happened to that microwave: it could have been stolen, destroyed, sold, or even kidnapped. In the wake of these findings, it would be wise that future microwave movements are notified well in advance.
In a statement to Honi, Incoming President Prudence Wilkins-Wheat echoed these sentiments.
“I am both happy and relieved that the microwave has been located. For me, it’s a symbol of hope, the proverbial heart of the USU, and I look forward to it coming back home to Courtyard.”
The student body can only hope that the incoming USU executive maintains the pro-microwave policies of the past.
If you or anyone you know has further information about the events leading up to this microwave seizure, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org