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Review: Being gay

You can’t have so many orgasms without shared lived experience.

I love being a lesbian because I get to have sex with women (awesome). This might seem too subjective. But here are the facts: lesbians have the best sex. Straight women reach orgasm during sex around 65 per cent of the time – for lesbians, it’s 86 per cent. This is because there is no way for a heterosexual couple to reach a pure form of love and trust when their relationship is socialised by toxic masculinity. You can’t have so many orgasms without shared lived experience. If you ever thought your girlFriends understood you better than your boyfriend, they do. Sincerely, I’m sorry you don’t get to fuck them.

Outside of the #private, being a lesbian rocks slightly less. When gay liberation took off, many men left their marriages, congregated in the city and created safe spaces, because they held the social and financial capital. Lesbians didn’t have the same economic independence, left at home with their kids and deadshit husbands. The chronic lack of lesbian spaces is an ongoing result of this. Sydney had one dyke club. It’s been taken over by men who either come to “watch”, are there with their girlfriends (bisexual women stop bringing them), or think being woke makes it allowed. 

Ultimately, the thing that rocks least about being a dyke is that we get the best of no worlds when it comes to gender dynamics: rejected by straight women who we make uncomfortable, sexualised by some men, and seen as a threat to the masculinity of others.

7/10: Wouldn’t change it if I could

Roisin Murphy Arts (Gender Studies) IV

The negatives of being a gay man (homophobia etc.) are much-discussed. I won’t entertain printing a sob story here.

Growing up gay, feeling estranged, lost and alone — not ideal. Queer clubbing, queer friends, queer art — pretty great. It’s nice having a shared sense of history and experiences that connect me with the queer people I meet, as well as with a wider history.

It’s nice knowing that wherever I go in the world, there will be poofters. Like, hi, me too! Let’s be friends! Being friends with lesbians and trans people is also amazing.

It’s also nice feeling unshackled from the expectations of masculinity because I have already failed them. Doing something fruity and fun is not a threat to my social standing, it’s expected.

Getting my monkeypox vaccination was a reasonably sobering reminder of the dangers that queer men face. However, the pretty robust public health response was also a reminder of how far we’ve come, and the institutions that we’ve built to ensure our safety.

I live in the inner west, attend Sydney Uni and work in the arts. I obviously experience very little homophobia. What I have experienced is love, care, and community.

9/10: Mostly great

Thomas Sargeant Arts (Art History) IV

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