I don’t know about you all, but this romance thing is fucking tiring. University is back in swing and you will be having fun around campus and catching fleeting kisses in between classes.
Aries: Eastern Avenue is a hell hole for introverts but you will indulge in some light flirting with someone at a society barbeque and man, that won’t be the only meat getting cooked.
Taurus: The Courtyard benches are uncomfortable for sharing a meal but make for amazing kissing spaces before a class. People around you will be rolling eyes, but who cares about the world when they’re holding you this tight.
Gemini: Victoria Park ponds make for a scenic lunch spot. Get yourself an iced latte with a sandwich and write some erotica involving nipple play by the water. Be careful, don’t get too wet in public!
Cancer: Not all dates need to involve drinks followed by fucking at their house. Take them to a farmers market, get a little pastry, and kiss them on their nose. Soft, warm romance can help build the tension more.
Leo: Roar, time for you to meow in the bedroom! Explore all the sex shops on King Street, get some sexy cat ears and feline lingerie, and express your power in bed.
Virgo: So much to do, such little time. So many people to do, enough time. Start a petition to have an orgy at Manning and invite all your library crushes.
Libra: Manning Cantina is opening soon but their margaritas are not the only spicy things, baby. Sneak into one of the abandoned Manning rooms and make the tables creak more than they normally do with your legs fervently in the air.
Scorpio: Stop being so fucking flaky, bro. They like you so much and think you’re obscenely hot, so show up for the date and let them adore you. Get a few drinks in, dance with them and let the night take you further (in really wet places).
Sagittarius: KISS stands for “keep it short and sweet,” but make your kisses more lingering and raunching. Indulge in light kissing, synced tongue play, and touch each other through the movement.
Capricorn: Look, what you’ve done to me. I would watch shows from start to finish but now I find myself going down on you before the climax. Because who cares what happens to the protagonist, when you’re the one I want to see finishing.
Aquarius: You will find yourself a bit boggled down with the maze of texting, so take it slow and spend time away to refresh your sexual energy. Go for a hot sauna bath, massage yourself with oil and let the rest recuperate your passion.
Pisces: Run recklessly with all your sensual heart’s wishes. You need to self-criticise less and grind wildly against them in bed because I can assure you that they’re more into it than you can imagine.
