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Comedy //

Big Government is Never the Answer

Joe Steel III, Wisconsin Industrialist

Government is not the answer. Unless it’s a fourth grade civics test. Which reminds me, we should change the curriculum to remove all references to government. But in most contexts, government is not the answer.

I’m tired of these liberal, ‘progressive’ lies. The government doesn’t create progress, business creates progress. The government doesn’t create leaders, business creates leaders. The government doesn’t create jobs, business creates jobs. The government doesn’t create medicine, business creates medicine. The government doesn’t create cars, business creates cars. The government doesn’t create combine harvester threshing drums, business creates combine harvester threshing drums. The government doesn’t create combine harvester disawning plates, business creates combine harvester disawning plates. The government doesn’t create combine harvester corn heads, business creates combine harvester corn heads. The government doesn’t create combine harvester rasp bars, business creates combine harvester rasp bars. The government doesn’t create grain pans, business creates grain pans. The government doesn’t create combine harvester drop arms, business creates combine harvester drop arms. The government doesn’t create combine harvester knife drives, business creates combine harvester knife drives. The government doesn’t create combine harvester screw conveyors, business creates combine harvester screw conveyors. The government doesn’t create combine harvester auger fingers, business creates combine harvester auger fingers. The government doesn’t create combine harvester stone traps, business creates combine harvester stone traps. The government doesn’t create combine harvester straw walkers, business creates combine harvester straw walkers. The government doesn’t create combine harvester feederhouses, business creates combine harvester feederhouses.

The so-called government needs to stop stealing from the American people, and start listening to the American people: more subsidies so farmers can invest in agricultural equipment, and no gay marriage!

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