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The beginner’s guide to writing a Union Board endorsement status

Evie Woodforde is not fooled by your Facebook status

Evie Woodforde is not fooled by your Facebook status

Step 1: Assure everyone you HATE student politics and would rather be seen DEAD than posting a status ordinarily. This will definitely fool them into thinking you are just like them!

Example: Anyone who knows me knows that I am so over Stupol! Seriously, I swore last year’s SRC campaign would be my last!

Step 2: The caveat! Ft. campaign t-shirt joke.

Example: But there’s no one else I’d sport a bright [colour] T-shirt for than [candidate name]!

Step 3: The meet cute.

Example: I first met [candidate name] six months ago when we were both definitely altruistically volunteering at [Uni event]. She was so welcoming, and genuinely kind, because she definitely didn’t envisage me writing this status six months later!

Step 4: A list of paired adjectives about your preferred candidate. Bonus points for ~edgy adjectives~.

Example: [Candidate name] is annoyingly nice, and fearfully friendly, and genocidally competent.

Step 6: Prove your honesty by reminding everyone that you’re being honest.

Example: Honestly, I don’t know where I would be without [Candidate name].

Step 7: Make it all about you.

Example: So if you like me at all, please, please vote for [Candidate name].