The beginner’s guide to writing a Union Board endorsement status
Evie Woodforde is not fooled by your Facebook status
Step 1: Assure everyone you HATE student politics and would rather be seen DEAD than posting a status ordinarily. This will definitely fool them into thinking you are just like them!
Example: Anyone who knows me knows that I am so over Stupol! Seriously, I swore last year’s SRC campaign would be my last!
Step 2: The caveat! Ft. campaign t-shirt joke.
Example: But there’s no one else I’d sport a bright [colour] T-shirt for than [candidate name]!
Step 3: The meet cute.
Example: I first met [candidate name] six months ago when we were both definitely altruistically volunteering at [Uni event]. She was so welcoming, and genuinely kind, because she definitely didn’t envisage me writing this status six months later!
Step 4: A list of paired adjectives about your preferred candidate. Bonus points for ~edgy adjectives~.
Example: [Candidate name] is annoyingly nice, and fearfully friendly, and genocidally competent.
Step 6: Prove your honesty by reminding everyone that you’re being honest.
Example: Honestly, I don’t know where I would be without [Candidate name].
Step 7: Make it all about you.
Example: So if you like me at all, please, please vote for [Candidate name].