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PornHub to introduce premium 70mm category

Simply marvellous quality.

Pornhub 70mm

Following the smash success of prestige films like Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, which use used traditional filmmaking methods in order to preserve the art of the genre, PornHub has announced that it will introduce a 70mm service available by subscription.

“We want to provide an outlet for big-name directors like Spielberg or Scorsese to produce porn that fit with their stylistic ideal,” said a PornHub spokesperson. “We envision this as a service for the real connoisseur, where those who are after a prestige porn viewing experience are able to have their tastes catered to.”

At this stage the service is only available by request. Although there is a backlog of historical 70mm pornography donated from Nolan’s personal collection, the service has yet to produce anything contemporary.

“We’ve got some big names in the tank,” assured the Pornhub spokesperson. “I’m not saying we’ve got Tarantino, but I’m not saying we’ve not got Tarantino either. After all, we’re one of the last places left with a market for analogue film and huge budgets. Plus, you can swear all you want and our audience certainly doesn’t mind bodily fluids going everywhere.”

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