“Indigenous

Trump hasn’t been assassinated yet because the “lone wolf assassin” demographic is entirely on his side

It looks like someone is finally making the "derranged killer" types feel included in society

killer

With the current US president, Donald Trump, arguably being one of the most controversial and inflammatory in the nation’s history, many have wondered why there has yet to be an assassination attempt on the contentious state leader. A new report by the pew research center suggests why: the demographic of individuals who commit violent crimes against elected officials are entirely on his side.

The research, which is based on survey results from the last 4 months, illustrates that of the individuals that indicated they were “very open to carrying out a political assassination against a political figure”, 97% also checked they were “highly supportive of Donald Trump’s presidency”.

Many of the key factors that usually lead to a presidential assassination are currently in place, such as massive dissent and huge numbers of affected stakeholders. However, statistics like these prove that one key ingredient is missing: an armed, extremist potential offender willing to pull the trigger.

Until Trump’s election in November, Gerald Walter Arthur Schwinn, a disgraced US marine who was intent on killing President Obama because he claimed “Obamacare was lowering his sperm count”, spoke to The Garter about what it’s like to feel included in society.

“On all the political assassination forums all we ever do is talk about how happy we all are now” he explained. “Life has really come around for us.”

“It’s great. Pretty much all the people who hold meaningful power in the country at the moment are folks I agree with fairly wholeheartedly.”

Schwinn admits that although the changes have been daunting, they haven’t been unwelcome.

“Sometimes I wonder if my life holds less meaning now that there aren’t any political figures that I want to shoot. But then I realise there are other worthwhile causes I can give my time to — like oppressing women on the street and using slurs against people of color online. My world has really opened up.”

Schwinn told The Garter he will be starting a new career as a private military contractor later in the year, and he hopes by then President Trump will have assigned him a girlfriend.