Man unsure whether to ‘sad’ or ‘angry’ react friend’s #metoo post, chooses to do nothing

“I think they know I support them. They know I’m a feminist.”

Peter Bloome, a second year arts/law student, was today faced with the difficult task of deciding how to interact with the inundation of #metoo posts from his female friends.

Scrolling through his Facebook feed, Bloome, who has called himself a feminist since Year 10 when his hot young English teacher endorsed the movement, encountered 17 posts under the hashtag in just over half an hour.

“My first instinct was to sad react. But then I thought, what if they think I’m being ironic? The sad react is kind of a meme,” Bloome told The Garter.

Bloome, who admits the sheer number of posts has been “super eye-opening” despite harrowing statistics on sexual assault having been widely reported for years, as well as a number of friends disclosing their own experiences to him, only for him to do nothing and defend the perpetrator, also considered using the angry react.

“Then I thought, what if my female friends think I’m angry at them? I couldn’t run that risk. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Bloome continued, “Of course, I couldn’t like it, or love, or haha. And I definitely couldn’t wow react.”

Having weighed up the risks of each possible interaction, Bloome settled on doing nothing.

“I think they know I support them. They know I’m a feminist.”

At the time of publication, Bloome had begun drafting a #HowIWillChange Facebook status on which he had changed the privacy settings so ‘The Boys’ would not see it.