Shitty Easter Show Continues to Not Die

The university continues its annual disappointing tradition.

Once again the University of Sydney Union has decided to go forward with its annual cheap imitation of the incomparable Australiana showground event.

Shitty Easter Show (also known as O-Day) commenced at the University of Sydney to no applause today at 9am. Across the amateurish fairground, students braced themselves for disappointment, ready to receive showbags filled with stress balls, no-name brand condoms and a distinct lack of Bertie Beetles.

“I pay $75 yearly for the hope that I’ll get to ride on the Mega Drop, but somehow the USU always falls short. Maybe I outta mega DROP out of Uni!” quipped USyd Comedian, Baron Chen.

And Chen isn’t alone. In 2018, over 780,000 fun-lovers attended the Sydney Royal Easter Show, while the Sydney University Shitty Easter Show earlier this year had a measly attendance of only 21,000 students. The USU clearly needs to pick up their fucking game.

However, there are dissenters in the crowd. “Sure, you could pet a bunch of dirty pigs or whatever, but why do that when you could be in the running to get a pre-loaded $50 debit account by signing up for Australia’s most blue bank!” said ANZ Stall Representative/Hack, Grace Harding.

But you’d be hard-pressed to actually hear Grace as the sounds of the Great Hall’s carillon clashed awfully with Top 40 hits blaring from the Red Bull stall, providing an appropriate soundtrack for what proved to be another heartless, joyless and lumberjackless event we must accept will never die.

“Yeah O-Day sucks but maybe it’s just not for me anymore. It’s for all the little first years who still get excited for five percent discounts on twelve dollar sandwiches.” says mature age student Theo Molins, 23.

I guess we just have to come to terms with the fact that O-Week and O-Day just ain’t what the Easter Show used to be.