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This is everything: the Verge 24 hour Comedython

Victoria Zerbst trawls through the remnants of the Verge 24 hour comedy gig.

live

I have curated snippets of comedic insanity from the Comedython live blog. I have to admit, these people are my friends. I know them, so I feel all these moments so deeply.

This show lives on as a series of code embedded in the internet. These comedians went Facebook live so many times, many of the times people were featured playing instruments and wearing horseheads. The Comedython left its digital footprint on history as, I hope, a forewarning to future comedy-idiots.

But I hope these comedy-idiots never learn.

This whole event represents the best parts of university: teamwork, collaboration, research, meeting deadlines. This production was also inherently innovative – it took risks, it was disruptive in form, and it engaged with politics and the media on many intellectual levels. It remains a piercing piece of social satire, and in attempting a continuous creation of relevant content, it captured a zeitgeist, an epoque, an era, a moment in time.

These live blog updates read as electric disembodied voices calling out from the hallowed and warped hallways of 2k16. So please read these words. They are linguistic snapshots of our time.

1pm. It begins.

So far our sole audience member is the studious Jared Choong working on his thesis. Donald Trump is debating with Hillary Clinton right now on the big screen. It is not good comedy.

Declan Maher is going to try and start making a pozible campaign to see if we can raise extra money besides our $100 budget. It is sure to fail.

Annabel Cameron just arrived with her bass. Its 1:31PM. Now that we have enough people here we’ll be making the rules of the Comedython. Rule 1: Don’t be a dick. Rule 2: If you want to leave you have to have a good excuse otherwise we get to book you. Rule 3: The number “five” is a forbidden word.

Jack Savage enters with a picture of Jesus.

Davis Murphy becomes James Drysabone, a Young Lib, in an attempt to get into a formal college dinner. He looks like a preppy wanker. Got an ATAR of 97.1 and his dad was disappointed.

We are attempting to make the most impossible dildo on an online dildo maker. And at the same time Juliet Timmerman, Belinda Anderson-Hunt and Jestika Chand are reading from bad Harry Potter fan-fic.

Belinda is now instead doing an improvised erotica on Thomas the Tank Engine.

“Hello my name is Ringo Starr”

Group Tinder account is up! Bio says: This is the account of 10-15 people. We are actually a large group of people varying between 10 and 15. Never less. Maybe more. We have a list of different hobbies, it really depends who you ask. We would like to go on a date. All 10 to 15 of us. Please swipe right for a date with 10 to 15 people. Much love x15.

I realise it is getting dangerously close to 10PM, when we must move from here into the Cellar. I am nowhere near as good a host as Tom Walker, god I can see only red and blurry colours, how I’m still able to type: I have no idea.

12:56AM and half of Alex Richmond’s beard has been shaven off, he also bled, it wouldn’t be 24 hour comedython if there wasn’t a wound.

Juliet Timmerman, Concetta Caristo and Jacinta Gregory have been named Charlie’s Angels. Their mission: to find and save picture of peaceful Jesus from the Holme Den.

There is a live performance of the Big Bang Theory, then Jack is serenading a masturbating man on omegle. When he says “help me cum for you”, Jack enters with a guitar and says “Let me serenade you”.

At 4:30AM, it’s a lot harder to think of things to do. Tim McNaught is absolutely killing it at QWOP, he’s on 35 metres.

Jack has somehow got through to Alan Jones’s producer who sounds skeptical that Jack’s pie shop has anything to do with Pauline Hanson.

It’s okay guys we’ve given Davis a new identity of Chad (Chadwick) Penicillin. He has infiltrated the St Andrews breakfast with the express mission to bring us all back a free breakfast. We’re watching him shovel bacon and eggs into his face on the screen…the lucky bastard.

FUCK.

Tim says he is Pingu.

Oh God oh God. 2GB just called us up about one of our calls earlier about our pie shop closing and Pauline Hanson getting a fair go.

We have been told that Kylie and Jackie-O want to talk about the Comedyt h o n we’re doing. This event is definitely not worth being talked about on national radio, but then again this is Kyle and Jackie-O (badum-tish). One thing is for certain though, one of us is l eaving this room famous tonight.

Jacinta is chatting to the producer s right now after we roused her a wake because Alex was too nervous to speak to them. And Aidan Molins and Theo Murray are doing word at a time stand up to make sure this can still be counted as a comedy gig.

The final hour is approaching and while still making jokes, we’ve cleaned up the cellar space and are making plans for our final big all-encompassing mission. But first, Alex is going to complete his handshake.

The handshake is beautiful and indescribable. Now we’re off to buy limes with our gambling winnings to give to the world. The perfect ending to this final hour.