Comedy //

Delegates concerned conference will be too efficient without face to face heckling and disruptions

Inspired by today's conference.

Following the decision to host NatCon online this year, numerous delegates have expressed concern that the conference will operate too efficiently without their much needed in-person disruptions. While the traditional face to face NatCon facilitated real-world heckling, jeering, chanting, and the occasional interfactional tussle, this year’s conference will most likely conduct critical NUS business without substantial disruption.

“It’s a disgrace.” Said veteran SAlt delegate Grace ‘The Mean Means’ Alexander.

“My computer doesn’t have the revolution – I mean, resolution, to show me the faces of our many enemies in the high definition I’ve grown accustomed to.”

Others have embraced the change, with one Liberal, who usually palms off his proxy to Unity delegates, saying he finally feels comfortable attending the conference.

“I’ve always felt like such an outsider, like my hatred for public education meant I didn’t belong. But over Zoom, I think I can finally come out of my shell.” The Liberal delegate informed Honi.

NUS heavyweights have expressed their relief as well, with many concerned they’d be cancelled on the conference floor if it was in person.

“I have not been a particularly good comrade over lockdown.” One NUS exec member told us.

“Between voting for student union casualisation and accidentally becoming a landlord, COVID really flew by.”

With opinions divided, all students can hope for is that the NUS continues to perform its critical function of absolutely nothing in these trying and troubling times.

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