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Births, Deaths and Marriages – Semester One, Week One

The campus children did so much gossip-worthy shit we had to expand the column.

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All a-Board!

It’s that time of the year again, when we speculate about the Union Board candidates we all know have been stacking their CVs since primary school. Here are the names to watch as you plan your escape route from the obnoxiously bright t-shirts soon to saturate our campus.

First the Labor camp. National Labor Stu- dents (NLS) boasts promising candidate Sam- uel Kwon, who will draw additional support from the Model UN vote. Kwon has confirmed he is considering running for board, but must first win the faction’s preselection vote.

Next up is NLS’ Labor right frenemy, Student Unity, whose new recruit Vanes- sa Song, one of the SRC’s current Wom*n’s officer is rumoured to be their candidate.

Taking another step to the right, the Liber- als are set to emerge from hiding to once again nominate a candidate. This year, there is said to be a more auspicious candidate than previous years: SRC Representative and Interfaith Officer and Liberal Club Treasurer, Dimitry Palmer.

The Grassroots preselection is set to be contested between Shevvi Barrett-Brown and Courtney Thompson. Controversially, a long- time Grassroots member has claimed the lead up to the group’s preselection vote has involved “no democracy at all”, with nepotism from senior members favouring Thompson. Both would draw support from the SUDS and revue communities.

In response to this claim, SRC Education Officer and Grassroots Board Director Liam Carrigan stressed that “Grassroots always has and always will run a democratic pre-elec- tion process. I’m not interested in entertain- ing these rumours and allegations when our collective hasn’t even sat down to discuss our involvement in the USU for 2016.”

Hacks might’ve missed our next rumoured candidate, with sources reporting Sydney University Law Society Queer Officer and SHADES secretary Jack Nairn may be in the running. Whilst Nairn doesn’t tickle our hack radar quite like the others, with such a sup- port base he could easily pose a threat to more established candidates.

Moving closer to home, former Scoop for Honi campaign manager and SHADES execu- tive member Grace Franki is said to be intending to campaign as an independent. Our pick for a campaign name? Face Granki. Just think about it, it’s good.

Bonus round. Socialist Alternative are rumoured to have found their first ever board candidate in Declan Maher, director of Jew Revue 2015 and Science Revue this year. Viva la Revolution.

BULL 2.0 enters the ring

When the USU canned their monthly print publication, BULL magazine, at the end of last year, they promised it would be replaced by a student-led online platform on their website, produced alongside their marketing team.

After a bit of a slow start, it seems the new title is preparing for launch.

Honi can confirm that, after two separate rounds of applications over the summer break, the publication will be edited by former Hermes editor Whitney Duan, and Autonomous Collective Against Racism office bearer Aparna Balakumar.

Although the publication’s name has not been finalised, Honi has heard “Pulp” is a top contender—a playful reference to the destruction of campus print media by corporate interests.

Dude, where’s my Arts dean?

In July 2015, Professor Barbara Caine was appointed as Acting Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences , following the appointment of the previous dean, Profes- sor Duncan Ivison, to the role of Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Research).

That was a while ago. So, how long can an acting dean be “acting”? A year and a half, apparently.

A spokesperson for the University told Honi, “Professor Caine will continue in the role during the recruitment phase for a new Dean of the Faculty. Recruitment will com- mence shortly and the university expects to complete this process by early 2017.”

SLAM changes name to… SLAM

The School of Letters, Arts and Media (SLAM) has changed its name to the School of Liter- ature, Arts and Media (SLAM). According to the agenda from last week’s Academic Board meeting, the change, which was approved by the Provost in January, came about because the old name “[did] not have a clear, contem- porary and easily apprehensible meaning, nor does it effectively encompass the work of the School’s academics, nor provide a suitable characterisation of the work of the School”. It is expected the Senate will approve the cor- responding amendment to the Faculty’s con- stitution at its next meeting, on March 18.

USU VP’s diva dog fails to deliver in OWeek promo

A pug owned by USU Vice-President Liv Ronan’s girlfriend was not only promoted to the role of “OWeek Ambassador” in a clear example of nepotism, but also wasn’t very good at it.

According to our sources, Zali the pug (Instagram: @zalithepug) was supposed to perform a variety of tasks for a series of online-only videos to promote OWeek. How- ever, her role had to be considerably reduced in the three resulting videos, due to her inability to perform the tricks promised by her owners (in particular, being able to stand still).

It seems Zali’s casting was a classic case of “jobs for the boys”. Contrary to USU hiring procedure, the role was not publicly advertised, and Honi understands no other animals were auditioned.