What’s on this week (according to your friend from UNSW)

Five events happening this week

UNSW student

Small Trumpet Presents: The Derryn Hinch Justice League
When: Wednesday, April 5, 6:30pm
Where: Hermann’s Bar
Price: Access $3 / Student $5 / Adult $7

Damn, I wish UNSW had a comedy culture as strong as USyd’s. I guess in the meantime I can just go along to this. It looks like a really crazy absurd political comedy show. I’ll just have to cover up the UNSW logo on my hoodie. I hope that one day UNSW can consistently produce comedians of such high quality.

Pool Competition
When: Thursday, April 6, 4:00pm-6:00pm
Where: International Students’ Lounge
Price: Access $2 / Non-Access $4

Damn, I wish UNSW had a recreational pool culture as vibrant as USyd’s. I’ve been going to this for a few weeks now — it’s on every Thursday — and they still haven’t figured out that I don’t go to USyd. Maybe next time I’ll mention that UNSW has an actual pool. Oh, USyd has a pool too? Dozens of Olympians have trained there? Well, at least we’re winning in the competition to see who can have more semesters

‘AEONS’ exhibition by PhotoSoc
When: Thursday, April 6, 6:00pm-10:00pm
Where: Tap Gallery, Surry Hills
Price: Access $10 / Non-Access $15

Damn, I wish UNSW had an artistic culture as creative as USyd’s. I’ve heard PhotoSoc is full of talent and this looks like it’ll be one of the best exhibitions so far. I tried to do some photography for UNSW’s photo club but every exhibition was called ‘Royal Randwick Racecourse’. I think it’ll be aeons before UNSW catches up.

DogeSoc Meet Up
When: Saturday, April 8, 2:30pm-5:30pm
Where: Camperdown Memorial Park
Price: Free

Damn, I wish UNSW had a dog culture as cute as USyd’s. This entire society is about people meeting up and chilling with each other’s dogs. You don’t even need to own a dog to be a member. Do you think the dogs would smell that I wasn’t from USyd? I don’t think I can risk it. Maybe there’ll be some cute greyhounds at Randwick Racecourse. Is greyhound racing still legal?

When: Monday, April 10, 6:00pm-9:00pm
Where: MacLaurin Hall, USyd
Price: Access Free | Non-Access $5

Damn, I wish UNSW had an innovation culture as agile as USyd’s. Apparently INCUBATE is an entrepreneurial group at USyd and this demo day is where they showcase ten early-stage start-ups. I heard you can test them out and even invest. I actually had a great idea recently, maybe I should tell them about it. I was thinking UNSW should build a really big impressive sandstone quadrangle in the centre of its campus. Oh, I thought of another idea! Quadmesters! What do you think?