SRC ELECTIONS 2018

YOUNG SPENCE

Not a boy, not yet a man.

Young Spence

The time is the 80s. The setting, the University of Sydney. The man: a young one, by the name of Michael J Spence. What did the J stand for? That doesn’t matter for our story.

Young Spence is 23 and confused, as many 23-year-olds are. He is trying to ‘find himself’ but, unfortunately for him, he is bad at both introspection and geography. Spence likes Pac-Man, Rubik’s cubes, synth pop, cocaine, and other fun things people liked in the 80s.

But underneath Spence’s boyish exterior is a man. This man wants to be something more than a Pac-Man playing, Rubik’s cube solving, synth pop singing, cocaine snorting boy. More than anything, this man wants to spin discs at the club! He wants to be the jockiest of all disk jockeys!

One day, Spence is showering in the Old Teacher’s College, dreaming about becoming a disk jockey, when God appears to him in a sudden flash.

“Hi Michael, just wanted to say, I cannot wait for you to fulfil your destiny of becoming the glorious ruler of USyd,” God says.

Hot water trickles over Spence’s manhood, as he stares up at God in awe.

“That’s right, you guessed it, you’re the chosen one!”

God disappears in a poof a shower steam. Spence breaks out of his reverie and moves to cover his manhood.

Exactly two and a half minutes later, Spence leaves the shower, lighter in mass but heavier in soul.

He walks down Eastern Avenue in a daze, brooding, knowing that he has a decision to make:

What should Young Spence do next? Should he fulfil his destiny and become the supreme leader of USyd? Or should Young Spence become Yung $pence, the DJ? Send the next 250 words of this story and a crappy line drawing to editors@honisoit.com, and we might include it in our next edition!
(Note: This exercise is best done drunk, high or incredibly sleep-deprived).