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Trees are all around us… and they are always listening. But they’re not nosy like your next-door neighbour, so you don’t need to worry about them prying into your nonexistent love life and crippling job prospects.

After years of watching the troll through car windows as a child and eventually finding it as an unexpected companion on my 433 bus journeys to uni, I recently wondered why I have never tried to learn more about the troll.