Local man already starting second novel he’ll abandon

Not content with one novel full of undeveloped characters, a plotline yet to be refined and a flawed narrative arc, local resident Jack Price has already begun work on a second novel that he also definitely won’t finish.

“The characters just strolled into my head, and I knew the exact dynamic they would have with each other. In that moment I rushed to put pen to paper, and was already writing chapter outlines,” Price said of a book that will not reach page 46.

“I know that I abandoned my last idea, but it was just very time sensitive to that point in my life. This novel, I think, will definitely have more of a timeless feel,” declared Price, entirely unaware of everything beyond chapter three’s inevitable failure.

“Will one of the characters die? Maybe. Will one of them get married, or perhaps come out? I really don’t know. But that’s just the creative process, you go where the story takes you,” said Price, because he literally didn’t know.

None of his characters even have last names yet.

It is reported that the novel is largely autobiographical. The lead character, Matt Bryce, is a writer in his early 30s  struggling to balance his passion with everyday life pressures.

The book, currently untitled, will never be on shelves, as it will never go to a publisher, as it will never be given anything like the attention necessary for a novel’s completion.