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Births, Deaths & Marriages – Week 3, Semester 2

Good sports. Bad sports. Sports.

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CAN’T WAIT UNTIL THESE HONI TICKETS HAVE NAMES SO WRITING ABOUT THEM ISN’T SO CLUNKY, TBH

It’s one week out from nominations closing and Honi believes none of the three tickets looking to contest the editorship of this paper in September have reached 10 members (the maximum allowed on the ballot).

To recap, here are the teams we know of so far.

Ticket A: Aparna Balakumar, Swetha Das, Nina Dillon Britton, Will Edwards, Daniel Ergas, Eden Faithfull, Kevin Lee, Jemima Wilson. (Managers: Adam Ursino, Noah Vaz.)

Ticket B: Nick Bonyhady, Justine Landis-Hanley, Aidan Molins, Siobhan Ryan, Michael Sun, Evie Woodforde, Ann Ding, Tina Huang, Gillian Kayrooz

Ticket C: John Patrick Asimakis, Josh Koby Wooller

Honi can now report Ticket B has added Honi reporter and artist Ann Ding, Honi reporter Tina Huang and SCA student, and Honi artist, Gillian Kayrooz. Huang will, like Balakumar on Ticket A, be on exchange during this semester’s campaign, so it seems likely Ticket B will run on 11.

After Honi reported rumours in last week’s BD&M that Ticket C was coupling up with Dom Bondar’s campaign for SULC presidency, John Patrick Asimakis has confirmed to us that no member of his ticket had joined SULC for this reason. This week in rumours about the most mysterious horse in this race, there are stories floating around that first-year USU Board directors Esther Shim and Grace Franki are both involved in Asimakis’ campaign, however we can report this is not the case.

Shim, who ran to edit Honi on STRIP for Honi last year, will be supporting Ticket A (but, as she stressed “not in a management role”), and Franki, who managed the current team of Honi editors as SCOOP for Honi, told us she had been approached by “multiple tickets” but has opted to give advice to “everyone who has asked for it” instead of aligning with one ticket at present.

AT LEAST THE FACULTY REVUES HAVE NAMES NOW

Revue titles are out and campus creative and critics are flocking to Facebook events to be judgmental. Fortunately for us, this often stirs sweet controversies, this time kicking off with the 2016 Law Revue, Royal Commission: Impossible. In the show event, the UNSW Law Revue society shared the poster of their 1983 revue entitled “Commission Impossible”. The caption read “#tbt UNSW Law Revue 1983?” followed by a pass-agg love heart emoji. A law revue cast member replied with the sassy comeback, “We’re sorry we hadn’t heard of a revue that nobody saw”. Both post and comment received around 200 likes each.

Fellow cast member and assistant director, Kieran Hoyle, told Honi, “I didn’t mind the post. It was pretty funny and good publicity for the show.” This is not the first time Law Revue has shared a title with another revue, the 2014’s “House of Clerks” was also the title of the 2014 University of Auckland Law revue.

SPORT

The Sydney University Women’s Rugby team are now the 2016 Premiers after defeating Parramatta 25-24 in the finals.

The Sydney University Men’s Rugby team are not the 2016 Premiers after Norths defeated them 28-15. Over 11,000 spectators watched the USyd men lose their sport. Less than 1000 people watched the USyd women win. Thank you for reading our sports news 2016.

NON-ACCESS FOOD OUTLET TAKEN OVER BY OTHER SCAB OUTLET

Love the tiny bit of frightened pee that comes out when grabbing a coffee (read: being screamed at) at Ralph’s but can’t be bothered walking all the way to Bosch? Never fear: Ralph’s has taken over campus’ other non-ACCESS outlet, Boardwalk café on the Redfern side of Gadigal.

Boardwalk, also known by its pre-2015 moniker, ‘Mint’, has been operated by the team from Ralph’s since Monday last week. Honi‘s reporter was simply too fucking scared to speak to anyone who works at Ralph’s lest they just shout about there being an ATM on the back wall and embarrass us in front of half the Waratahs reserve grade.

However, we have ascertained through multiple trips to both outlets and a couple of covert words with a woman who used to work at Mint that Ralph’s plan on retaining both locations, and most of the Mint staff have stuck around at Mint/Boardwalk.

The menu at the outlet is now a mix of both cafes – Boardwalk burgers remain, but the pastas and impenetrably cling-wrapped biscuits and pastries of Ralph’s are also on offer.

However, we have buried the lede: the real story here is that the new outlet has retained Boardwalk’s EFTPOS machines, meaning the Ralph’s staff will need to find something other than, “Have your money ready!” to bellow into our weeping faces.