At 8:59pm on Sunday night, Donald Franco removed Luke Butler from a seven-person Facebook group chat. The unprecedented move occurred suddenly and without warning.
Sources have suggested it was retaliation for Butler having repeatedly skipped his turn to shout a round on Saturday night before disappearing to try to get laid.
In the immediate aftermath of the expulsion, Franco changed the chat’s default emoji to a fish and sent a this explanation to his stunned friends: “It’s a Sicilian message. Luke Butler always said there were many fish in the sea. Well now he sleeps with them. Though not in the way he wanted.”
Another member of the group chat, who asked to be anonymous, said the punishment may have been too harsh and that Franco was letting the newfound power get to his head.
“He’s started referring to himself in the third person as ‘The Don’, and calling us his consiglieri,” the source said. “He’s also reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, which is the first book he’s read since some Matthew Reilly crap in year 11.”
Phillip Lang, another ‘consigliere’, was discovered communicating in separate group chat with a second group of friends. Within hours, he had received a text message from Franco: “Phillip, you’re my brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever.”
There are rumours circulating that another group chat has been created with all the original members except Franco.