A new study from the University of Manchester has found that most millennial couples, rather than getting engaged, now consider successfully navigating Heathrow airport without murdering each other as a key indicator of a healthy relationship.
The study, which followed everyone you know from uni for six weeks over June and July, found only couples that sailed under Venice’s Bridge of Sighs without a passive aggressive dig about lost chapstick achieve long term happiness.
Clear indicators of unsuccessful relationships were arguments over the pronunciation of Barcelona, intermittent crying over lost luggage in Prague, and not being able to afford a Eurotrip with your partner of six months in the first place.
Eric Baxter, a second year Liberal Arts and Sciences student, told Honi that his recent trip overseas was quite the test for his relationship of 8 weeks.
“Like, your first overseas trip really makes or breaks your relationship in my opinion. It’s just a really adult situation that most people my age struggle to cope with,” said the unemployed 21-year-old who somehow paid for a $13,000 trip while paying token “rent” to his parents.
“When Henry and I were in Paris I accidentally spilled some black coffee on his Supreme x Comme des Garcons shirt. Henry was furious with me — he’s a Media student, so his self worth is assessed by how much tacky street wear he owns.”
“We had a tough three days after that. I realised he didn’t have a personality, but then after sitting on it for a few days I decided that he was conventionally attractive and middle class enough for it not to matter. We’ve been appearing functional on Instagram ever since.”