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Forcing Michael Kirby to take a photo with every law student in Australia is elder abuse, Royal Commission hears

A worrying phenomenon is gripping the nation.

The Royal Commission into Aged Care Quality has ruled that former High Court judge, Michael Kirby, must not be forced to take any more photos with Australian law students, following alarming evidence. The illustrious High Court judge has not been allowed to take a rest from touring Foundations of Law lectures and taking selfies with law students since he retired 11 years ago.

On one count, only three law students in Australia do not have Facebook profile pictures with His Honour. Student law societies around the country, however have denied claims that Justice Kirby was forced to do anything against his will.

“Kirby thrives in his natural environment of debased, sycophantic law students,” a SULS spokesperson told The Rodent.

“This cage? This is for his own safety. He has plenty of room to roam, and he’s fed daily.”

However leaked documents have indicated a sinister plot to acquire more High Court judges to shore up law student clout. 

One message from an Australia student law society, shown to the The Rodent detailed a plan to capture Chief Justice Mason “with a big net.”

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