Amidst an unprecedented lockdown in Australia due to the outbreak of the coronavirus, one man in the beachside suburb of Bondi has taken a brave stand against the Chinese Communist Party. Fresh from his illicit evening swim in the ocean, David Croft (52), a financial manager, told The Rodent that he knew exactly who to blame for the social ostracisation he has received recently from just going about his daily ritual.
“It’s completely communists’ fault. If they didn’t lie, the virus wouldn’t have spread across the world and we would’ve been more prepared to face. And I would still be allowed to go to the beach.” he said, his dad-bod glistening with the famous turquoise seawater of Bondi.
When presented with the fact that he was still going to the beach in spite of the government lockdown, Croft was swift with his dismissal.
“Yea well I’m not going to change what I’ve been doing for the past 20 years just because of some virus. It’s a free country and I can do whatever I want. Do you think I paid all that money for my house by the water just to look at it?” he stated, before going into a coughing fit.
“Sorry mate. Must be because of the water. It’s getting colder and colder out in the surf.” he wheezed, before coughing again.