Comedy //

25 unhinged questions to ask your boyfriend in quarantine

Quarantine is boring. Time to press some buttons.

For when you’ve finished the “36 questions to fall in love”, but quarantine is dragging on.

  1. Do you want children?
  2. What’s your favourite racial slur?
  3. If you could get $700 to kiss the hottest girl you know, or $100 to kiss me, what would you do?
  4. Who has more friends: me, you or your mum?
  5. What’s your favourite attribute of Elizabeth Warren and why is it that she’s a strong woman of colour?
  6. Do you prefer step-sister porn or step-mother porn?
  7. If you could change my race, what race would you change it to?
  8. Why does it rain? (No I don’t know, please explain it to me)
  9. Why don’t you love me?
  10. Who do you think is hotter, your sister or your mum?
  11. Who do you think has it harder, Hillary Clinton or Obama?
  12. What are your stool movements like?
  13. Can you name 10 directors who are not men?
  14. This is my used tampon. Thoughts?
  15. Can you explain to me the process of menstruation and why it occurs? (No I don’t know, please explain it to me)
  16. Will you sign this legally binding contract not to leave me?
  17. What is the best outfit you’ve ever seen me wear?
  18. Do you think aliens exist?
  19. Have you ever been probed? 
  20. By an alien? 
  21. What do you think about Gorman?
  22. How much do I weigh?
  23. If you had to give me a disability, what would it be?
  24. Who would you rather fuck, the “OK Boomer” girl, or Caroline Calloway?
  25. Will you preference me for the USU election?

Image credit: PlayTheTunes.

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